My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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