I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
