rhymes with "ouble enetration"
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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