I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
