Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
