Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
i've created a new STD.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
