these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Even my vagina gasped.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
