it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
