pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
