I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
