And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize