he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
