Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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