White coat. Heels.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
