i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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