You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
