when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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