I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
