I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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