grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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