Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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