plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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