my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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