wat bout pragnant strippers??
we made out on top of his cat.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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