i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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