I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
