the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
