wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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