well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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