A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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