And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize