You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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