A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
