I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
