I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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