Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
my nose is crying tears of wow.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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