Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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