I cockslap morals
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Randomize
