North Korea, Best Korea!
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
