just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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