after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
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Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
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I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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