Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
