turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
