Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
