i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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