mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
