Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
