i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
