well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
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