how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
The adults are the big ones right?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize