This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
