That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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