Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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