What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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