Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
