I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize