I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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