we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
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